While going through a box of old stuff at my parent’s house, I came across a shoe box, full to the brim with every single hand written note that I exchanged with my friends in high school. Opening this box was like entering a time machine and going back to the 90’s.  One thing I learned through this was that I had whacked out priorities as a teenage girl, and I couldn’t help but die laughing as I sifted through the notes. Do teenagers even write notes in class anymore?!?!

One of the gems I came across was actually a letter that I wrote to a boy I liked loved when I was 16 years old, but obviously never got around to actually giving to him.  The date was November 6, 1996, I was obsessed with the band No Doubt, in my “dress like a boy” years and apparently MADLY in love with a guy in the the grade above me.

It’s pretty funny and somewhat pathetic, so I’ve decided to have my 34 year old self lay the smack down to my 16 year old self.

November 6, 1996

Dear <Name withheld because I might die a little inside if he ever saw this>,

I know right now you’re probably wondering why I am giving you a letter.  This is actually really embarrassing for me.  I’ve been in love with you since September. Oh dear Lord 16 year old me! It’s been 2.5 months. I’m glad you think you know what love is, but no love will ever trump your feelings for Jordan Catalano. I’ve always wondered if you would find it in your heart to like me back, but I know that won’t happen. Wait until you are in your 20’s and 30’s, you will have waaaaay worse love droughts.

You probably think I’m really weird. Let’s see in the past 2 weeks I have died my hair green and dressed up like a little dead girl (with multiple stab wounds) and paraded around the school. Oh wow, I had game! And by game I mean awkward social interactions with other human beings. This had to have been for spirit week…I hope….WHELP! I always try to avoid you, but even still, you manage to pop up. Girl you went to school in Chilliwack – there were like 200 people, it was inevitable.

What else, oh yeah at Chicken catching when you were standing in front of my car, I…well…er…um…let’s just say that this one is too hard to explain, but if you ever want to know you can ask my friend Sarah. She knows the whole story. Chicken Catching! Oh god, if I didnt just perpetuate the farm stereotype for people from Chilliwack, then I don’t know what…Atleast it wasn’t a reference to cow tipping….but that that happened too – sigh.

If you’re wondering, there are a lot of reasons why I like you. I notice the little things, like the way you cheat off of Ryan in math. Why do you have to be so darn cute?! Rachel, NO! You liked him because he cheated…thank god you will learn from this mistake and choose better men in the future…..oh wait…D’oh!

There are times when I can talk to you, but I try to do it in a way that doesn’t point out that I like you. Well done Rach….you’re still using that move, how’s that working out for ya. I make a point of walking past your locker just to get to mine even if it’s out of the way, just to catch a glimpse of your impeccable fashion sense and I’ve been late to class a couple of times because of it. Atleast, you appreciated impeccable fashion sense in others, seeing as you.lived.in.men’s.clothing! Don’t worry girl, you blossom into a woman eventually.

Usually, I don’t care when a guy knows I like him LIES…..Complete and Utter LIES!. I’ve never really had a decent boyfriend. The last time I had a really good boyfriend was 4 years ago. OMG, that would have made me 12 years old #facepalm. You just strike me as the type of person who’d be different. Anyways, just had to get this out of my heart and onto paper. BARF!

Truly Embarrassed, Yes, you should be.
Rachel

P.S Don’t think I’m totally obsessed or anything I’m sure he would Rach…..I’m sure he would.